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Old Brown Spoon

by Synaesthesia

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1.
Sword and the Chalice Oooohh run run Hal got a loaded gun What’ll it be when she gets lonely What I gotta do to flick her switch Couldn’t I be her one and only Wicked tongue of mine to scratch her itch I close my eyes and take the scars To live one midnight fantasy I heal the cuts to change my stars A lake of dreams I pray I see Come, run to me Burn, passion free Turn, knife in me Sun, her fantasy A stare in his eyes her wishing well And I’m his rainbow to the pot of gold I’ll show him heaven straight from hell I’ll guide his hand to her heart and soul Scent bewitched senses ensnared Chalice of dreams, sword of fears Twilight dreams, renaissance faire A waste of time, a waste of tears Come, run to me Burn, passion free Turn, knife in me Sun, her fantasy And I still love her now When all the candles burn out I just can’t live without Her love oh I still need her now Come, run to me Burn, passion free Turn, knife in me Sun, her fantasy
2.
Red Kite 04:56
Red Kite Let her in to this heart of mine, a twist or turn or a straight line I knew her, really knew her I held her hand through the tears she cried, her daddy’s gone and it just ain’t right And I held her, really held her I drew a breath and cast my feelings aside, I said we’ll fix it get it right this time I said I love you, really love you I played his words over in my mind, read his letters by the candlelight Cos I had to, really had to Fly red kite sky tonight On broken wings Fly dream of mine on cloud nine Played on broken strings What do you do to a blind man’s heart, do you caress it or tear it apard Did you love me, really love me Was your smile just a fool’s disguise, was your twist a blind man’s compromise And I cried, really I cried I took nothing gave you everything, it cut me deeply but I let you in I bled for her, really for her A stitch in time helps a day go by, I can’t forget no matter how I try I still need her, really need her Fly red kite sky tonight On broken wings Fly dream of mine on cloud nine Played on broken strings They say it gets easier with the ticking of the clock They say the cuts will heal and the scars will fade They say the tears will dry with the sands of time They say the pain will go at the end of the rainbow Fly red kite sky tonight On broken wings Fly dream of mine on cloud nine Played on broken strings
3.
I Wish I Was Someone I feel the hate, I feel the dread, I feel all this inside my head. I feel the love, I feel the great, But even this is overtook by hate. I want to smile, I want to be free, But it’s like my own hate won’t let me be. I want to feel safe, I want to be brave, But the most I ever feel is scared. I need to be happy, I need to be true, I need to be able to see me through you. I need to be stronger, I need new behaviour, I need to realise I’m no longer a failure. I wish I was someone I could start to like, I wish I was someone who had more sight. I wish I was someone who could feel free, I wish I was someone who liked being me. I know I can change things, I know what to do, But I can’t do it alone, I need support too. I know what I want and I know what I feel, But I need someone beside me to say what is real. These things will take time and these things will take strength, But I’m willing to do this no matter the length. These things are not easy and these things won’t be gone, But there’s a life out there for me, I just need to learn to move on. I am someone stronger, I am someone now, I’ve been changing my life and I know you knew how. I am someone happy, I am someone good, I’ve become a new person, who deserves to feel loved.
4.
Blue Rainbow 04:40
Blue Rainbow Many times I’d swear I’d never love again Many times I’d say I’d never give my heart I ain’t fond of life but I don’t want to die alone I don’t want to end my days Livin’ on the street of dreams Where I don’t want to wake or so it seems Take my hand together we’ll ride the rainbow To a pot of gold the colour of the sun Light the blackest clouds with your blue rainbow Send a northern star and make us one I gave my love once to a golden halo Until the candle no longer lit the night I need your voice to heal these aging scars Now when I close my eyes I see a new angel of mine And help me find love again in time Take my hand together we’ll ride the rainbow To a pot of gold the colour of the sun Light the blackest clouds with your blue rainbow Send a northern star and make us one
5.
Old Brown Spoon Shrink tells me I ain’t crazy But I ain’t seen my mind this week Tryin’ to tell my body I ain’t killin myself But my broken heart just won’t speak A little magic powder on the old brown spoon Just to set my shakin’ hand straight Cookin’ up a high but I’ll be comin’ down soon I been dancing with the devil, no mistake Well I’ve been wakin’ to the same old story With the pages just a little more frayed I’ve been puttin’ my luck to a loaded dice reality looks better through a haze A little magic powder on the old brown spoon Just to set my shakin’ hand straight Cookin’ up a high but I’ll be comin’ down soon I been dancing with the devil, no mistake Playin’ this old blues guitar Each note the same as the last Dance my last dance to the same old tune Lookin’ at the same old photographs A little magic powder on the old brown spoon Just to set my shakin’ hand straight Cookin’ up a high but I’ll be comin’ down soon I been dancing with the devil, no mistake
6.
For What Tomorrow Never Knows If I, had taken my time, to find the line you still wouldn’t be mine I, had to take that fall, and make the call, to end it all I, should’ve read my mind, and seen the signs, end of the line Not once, did I let myself see, that you weren’t meant for me, I couldn’t let you be I, saw it in your face, the darkest place, is a blind man’s gaze Oh, So the legend goes, tomorrow’s ghost, will never know I remember the night Letters read by candlelight Tale of terror he writes Cold winters night In paradise I remember tears And you’d ask me But I’d look up and smile I wouldn’t say why Alone I cried If I, had taken my time, to find the line you still wouldn’t be mine I, had to take that fall, and make the call, to end it all I, should’ve read my mind, and seen the signs, end of the line Not once, did I let myself see, that you weren’t meant for me, I couldn’t let you be I, saw it in your face, the darkest place, is a blind man’s gaze Oh, So the legend goes, tomorrow’s ghost, will never know When you walked out Our front door Would I ever see you Back Again In these arms of mine How many more times Could she poison your mind With mother tongue Her will be done My noose be strung If I, had taken my time, to find the line you still wouldn’t be mine I, had to take that fall, and make the call, to end it all I, should’ve read my mind, and seen the signs, end of the line Not once, did I let myself see, that you weren’t meant for me, I couldn’t let you be I, saw it in your face, the darkest place, is a blind man’s gaze Oh, So the legend goes, tomorrow’s ghost, will never know
7.
Caledonia 05:58
Caledonia I don't know if you can see The changes that have come over me In these last few days I've been afraid That I might drift away So I've been telling old stories, singing songs That make me think about where I came from And that's the reason why I seem So far away today Oh, and let me tell you that I love you That I think about you all the time Caledonia you're calling me, and now I'm going home If I should become a stranger You know that it would make me more than sad Caledonia's been everything, I've ever had Oh and I have moved and I've kept on moving Proved the points that I needed proving Lost the friends that I needed losing Found others on the way Oh and I have tried and kept on trying Stolen dreams yes there's no denying I have traveled far with conscience flying Somewhere with the wind Oh, and let me tell you that I love you That I think about you all the time Caledonia you're calling me, and now I'm going home If I should become a stranger You know that it would make me more than sad Caledonia's been everything, I've ever had Now I'm sitting here before the fire The empty room, the forest choir The flames that could not get any higher They've withered now they've gone But I'm steady thinking my way is clear And I know what I will do tomorrow When the hands are shaken and the kisses flow Then I will disappear Oh, and let me tell you that I love you That I think about you all the time Caledonia you're calling me,and now I'm going home If I should become a stranger You know that it would make me more than sad Caledonia's been everything, I've ever had
8.
Restless 06:06
Restless It’s early in the day and time drags on Make the hours tick away Please little lady now don’t think like that Maybe this can be the day I can lose this thing, get a fling I’m restless for today It’s ten and you know I can’t lie still Just want to lose this feeling Hey there baby you came to me Sent my senses reeling Nerve endings burning, I think I’m learning I’m restless and you’re dealing Things went the way they go On a level just above fine You know I felt it wasn’t right Baby we have the time I’m feeling low do you want to go I’m restless and you’re mine It’s ten and you know I can’t lie still Just want to lose this feeling Hey there baby you came to me Sent my senses reeling Nerve endings burning, I think I’m learning I’m restless and you’re dealing You were like a sleeping child You know I wanted you there I wanted you both day and night Beside me everywhere Lord up above, I need your love I’m restless and I care
9.
Do They Know How the Story Goes As season of great joy is once again upon us all I ask is you take a moment this year to remember for every warm loving home someone goes cold and for every life that lights a family’s heart another family is left in darkness...remember them too...remember Christmas is for everyone Baby in a manger in a stable yard Virgin mother Mary and she’s travelled far And we know how that story goes Shepherd with his flock and he’s searching hard To bring gifts to the king under the star But we know how the story goes He sees a ghostly figure at the foot of his bed Ghost of Christmas past messin’ with his head And we know how that story goes Ebeneezer thought he’d reached the end of his days Vision said it ain’t too late to change your ways We know how the story goes But I don’t think they’ll hang up A decoration this year When their only Christmas angel Is fear A young harlot cries a river with her lonely tears As her mother prays to God with her darkest fears Well do we know how their story goes An old man’s pain and hunger written in his eyes An orphan shares his last meal with a smile Remember you don’t know how his story goes A lost child cries out to a false messiah And begs for their family just to stay alive The papers will tell us how that story goes So when you hear a fairytale this Christmas eve Think about forgotten children whisper in their ears That it’s how their stories should go Where a black dog is no reindeer No snowflake hides the night Spare a single candle And send them peace Tonight But I don’t think they’ll hang up A decoration this year When their only Christmas angel Is fear
10.
Derek at Your Back Door Little kid from Holmfirth drinks the day away He used to have a future but it’s now a whisky haze But he got himself a pretty girl tried to do right by her And he tried to tell his story but he couldn’t find the words Dark secrets of a teacher Lessons of a preacher Run Run to the sun You’re gonna burn On the killing floor At night When you close your eyes Can you still see His wicked disguise Derek at your back door A locked door in an attic hides the left hand path Lead them to temptation with a sexual photograph They say that it’s a sickness but I don’t think there’s a cure A twisted crucifix within a mind that once was pure Your nightmare his fantasy Your hell his street of dreams Run Run to the sun You’re gonna burn On the killing floor At night When you close your eyes Can you still see His wicked disguise Derek at your back door A word in the ear of Simon but it won’t cut a deal They’re gonna send you down I’d say so their scars can heal You’d be doin’ 25 to life if it was any call of mine They’re stringing up the noose to make sure you serve your time You’re living, a lie They’re gonna hang the gallows high Run Run to the sun You’re gonna burn On the killing floor At night When you close your eyes Can you still see His wicked disguise Derek at your back door

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released December 21, 2016

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Synaesthesia Glasgow, UK

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